I did not come up with this myself, but I thought it was funny enough to share. Enjoy! Look for your car. Luckily for me, mine's not on there. (That would be because I don't own a car.)
The Statements Car Owners are Really Making:
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Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating people up
Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I
have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Chrysler LeBaron - I think I am an aristocrat
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for
Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ford Fairmont - (see Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph when I pull up
behind them
Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade this fall
Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade this fall
Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no
convertible at all
Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming
Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
Isuzu Impulse - I do not care about J.D. Power or his reports
Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop
280 days per year
Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis - (see above)
Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Tiffany and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either
Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings
Nissan Altima - I like to pay more for things than they are worth
Nissan Sentra - I just graduated college and I work at McDonalds
Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars
Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a
fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchannan is a tad bit too
liberal
Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior
than Izuzu
Toyota Tercel - (See Honda Civic)
Volkswagon Jetta - I am out of the closet
Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now
Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife
Big trucks - I am a hick
Little trucks - I wish I were a hick
Jeeps - I like people to think I am an outdoor person even though I have
never seen a tree.
Hey, wait a minute. I have seen a tree. Once I
think.
Written 9/30/2001 by Chris Taylor